For the longest time, I didn’t know myself. I had no idea who I was as a person, what I stood for, or any of my purposes in life. As a result, I hid behinds these masks or barriers when I was in public or interacting with people. I found it much easier to be something else or someone else than my actual self. To be completely honest, I wasn’t comfortable taking these masks off and showing the world who I was: a scared and insecure person who was consumed with shame and guilt.
I wasn’t just lying to other people with these masks, but more importantly, I was lying and deceiving myself. I was doing an utter disservice to myself by self-sabotaging my life and creating unnecessary pain and suffering.
So what changed? Well, first of all I surrendered and realized I needed to change my life, my way of thinking, and my attitude. It was vital for me to stop lying to myself and start being true to myself, being absolutely, without a doubt, honest with myself. This meant, no more justifying my decisions, no more rationalizing my choices. I had to actually listen, really focus and sincerely pay attention to my inner voice, my conscious, my Higher Power.
This was not an easy process. It was painful, uncomfortable, and left me in a constant vulnerable state. But, I had to ditch these masks in order to grow, to evolve, and get to know me and the person I wanted to be. I am grateful to this day that I made that decision. Being true to myself was, and is, one of the most important fundamental ideals I used as my foundation. This allowed me to grow and progress as a human being; without it, I don’t know where I would be today.