During active addiction, I would resort to these thoughts and feelings that consistently made me the victim. It was this “poor me” mentality that kept me stuck in these stories, unable to truly enjoy life. I felt like I deserved to be miserable, sad, and always in pain. So, why would I want to get better; to experience happiness? If I didn’t think joy was justifiable, then there was no point in changing the narrative of my life. Playing the victim card, feeling sorry for myself, and this misery was comfortable for me. I enjoyed it, as ridiculous as that may sound.
This is no way to live life. It doesn’t matter what or who you believe in, we were not put on this earth to be miserable. We were put here to be happy, experience inner peace, feel ultimate freedom, and really enjoy life. So, then why do people become comfortable succumbing to their circumstances, to this story or narrative that they choose to represent? In my opinion, it can seem much easier to concede to your circumstances, then to actually put in the time, effort, and work.
Looking at yourself, and what needs to change, is not an easy task. It requires a tremendous amount of work, strength, and courage. It can be quite painful at times, but the rewards are worth all of the aches and discomfort that is endured along the way. To be honest, you have to ask yourself this: Do I want to be miserable and stay stuck in this story of victimization or do I want to truly experience life and be happy, joyous, and free? It’s up to you and you only. Nothing worth anything can be achieved through osmosis. You have to put in the work, to reap the benefits.