You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.
Life can only move in one direction, forward. As much as you may want to, you can’t go backwards. It’s just not possible. But, many times people hold onto all their past mistakes, loves, unfinished business, regrets, or things that should have been dealt with.
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And that mindset does not serve you or anyone else for that matter. It keeps you stuck in a place that is no longer present, that is no longer your reality, and that is no longer happening. It’s actually a fantasy if you think about it. So, there is no reason why you should be entertaining it when it doesn’t exist anymore.
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But, if you feel like you can’t get out of your own way or that you can’t re-route your mind out of the past, you’re not alone. It’s quite prevalent in today’s world, and unless it’s addressed, it will continue to negatively effect your growth and evolution.
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Now what, right? If you know what the issue is and how it’s doing more harm than good, what do you need to do next? Well, in my opinion, you have to be brutally honest with yourself about why you can’t stop focusing on the past. It could be a variety of reasons, but those reasons are unique to you and you only.
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Because I can’t personally tell you what those are since I am not you, just like you are not me or anyone else. Therefore, you have to do the work. But, what does the statement, “do the work”, even mean? It’s used a lot nowadays and the follow through or description isn’t always explained. So, I am here to tell you that “doing the work” means taking the time to turn inward and putting your whole self under the microscope. The good stuff, the not-so-good stuff, the bad stuff, and the really, really bad stuff. All of it, leaving nothing out.
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That way you can truly begin the process. But, remember that the only person that can hold you accountable is yourself. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a support system along the way because I’m sure you have people in your life that really care. That tell you what you need to do, how to do it, or why you should be doing something, but they can’t do it for you.
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And sometimes you desperately want to turn the page, but you won’t understand what comes next if you fully didn’t read and comprehend the chapter you’re currently on. So stop struggling and trust the timing of your life. Sit still for a second and listen. Listen to what life is trying to teach you right now. It would be a shame to never get to the next chapter because you didn’t learn what you were supposed to, or to get to the next chapter unprepared to fully make the most of it and reap all the opportunities that will become available.
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So if you’re going through this stage of your life and feeling off, unsure, or wanting to hold on to what has already happened, understanding that it’s not just YOU! In this situation, you are not unique. There are so many people out there struggling with moving forward and pulling themselves out of their past.
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For now, all I can say is to take it one day at a time. Show up for you by being honest with yourself and holding yourself accountable. That’s a great place to start and as you progress in your process, your mindset will hopefully start to shift from being immersed in the past and more focused on the present.
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More on how being fully present can prepare you for what is on the horizon. That next chapter of your life that you are ready to write.