For many people, the idea of being alone doesn’t sound fun or exciting. You, by yourself, in a room, a park, an office, or maybe even a beach can feel quite gloomy or miserable despite possibly being immersed in a gorgeous setting (i.e. the beach!) Why is that? Why does the thought of being alone with yourself stir up so many negative emotions and/or feelings?
Well, first of all, as humans, we are very much communal beings and love to socialize with other people. We crave those interactions and relations on a daily basis and may heavily rely on them for our own mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health. So, if and when you actively remove yourself from a group setting or when you force yourself to be alone with yourself, it can really seem to go against how you’ve been programmed to survive. But, it’s actually an integral part of your growth and evolution.
You see, many of us have been conditioned to be afraid of being alone. We tend to get scared or fear that if someone else is not around, then no one will be present. And when you say no one is with you or around, what you are doing is forgetting about yourself. You are around. You are someone, therefore someone is present. But, for some reason, you subconsciously or even actively overlook yourself as being here, existing in this very moment.
In my opinion, this means that you may have lost the awareness of yourself. Try not to focus solely on if this action was done on purpose or without your complete permission, because that is something you cannot change. Therefore, shift your attention and mindset to the right now and grasp the fact that you have been doing anything and everything in your power to fill your time up with work, staying busy, eating, or other people that you no longer have that connection or bond with yourself.
That’s the “not so good” news, but the good news is that that connection isn’t lost forever, if you don’t want it to be. You may have been afraid to travel into the depths of yourself. You may have been afraid that when you look within, you will see that no one is there. You may have been afraid that when you fully dive deep inside yourself, you won’t find what you like. To be honest, those are all possibilities. I’m not going to sit here and try to sugarcoat anything or convince you that everything is okay. Because, you know what? It might not be okay and that’s okay.
When you’re ready, which might not be in this moment, but when you are, you have to fully embrace and acknowledge what you may be lacking in your life. Then and only then, can you start your journey back to yourself. And I will let you in on a little secret before you get ahead of yourself. This won’t be an overnight, quick turnaround, 6 or 7 hour journey, so don’t get your hopes up for that.
The time that it will take for you to rediscover yourself and recreate that connection is all subjective and relative to the individual doing the work. Therefore, the time it takes you to get “there” will not be the same as someone else and vice versa. It very well may take you a longer time or you could get lucky and it’s a shorter period time, but that is not something you should be devoting any of your time and energy towards. Instead, use that time, that energy, and that dedication to truly understand that being alone with yourself isn’t something to be afraid of. It’s not something you shy away from or avoid at all costs.
Because when you first start to become aware of the rediscovering process of not only yourself, but your spirit and your purpose, you will be able to grasp the fact that there is someone there, inside of you,
that is well worth knowing. And, if you think about it, there is no way to truly discover yourself and know who you are unless you give yourself that time alone to explore.
If you have to constantly remind yourself the importance and life-changing effects of carving out alone time, then that’s what you have to do. It won’t always be the case, but you have to start somewhere, right? And, you have to start at some point, right? So, what better place than exactly where you are in this moment and what better time than right now. Because, at the end of the day, you have to guard your alone time like your life depended on it even when it may seem selfish or inconsiderate. You have to nurture and protect your alone time even when it may seem difficult because without it, you will slowly start to distance yourself from yourself once again.
That is not a place you want to be, so instead, be proactive, be ready, be prepared for anything and everything life may throw your way. And no matter what that may look like, you know that your connection and self-discovery will not be jeopardized, minimized, or pushed to the back of the line. Because without wholeheartedly knowing who you are, what you stand for, and your truth, how could you be fully be there for anyone else.
Remember, it all starts with you.